Hey there, AJ reader. Did you know we have something like 4,500 posts in our archive? It’s true! A decade or so of stories, tips, tricks, videos, essays, and pure randomness. Might we recommend you take a several hour plunge one of these days, to discover some classics for yourselves. Like this one, from 2016, exploring the mystery of Guys Who Like to Strap Stuff to the Outside of Their Packs. – Ed.
I was renting this guy a backpack and three-person backpacking tent when I worked at an REI store many years ago, and he and I had the following conversation, as he was holding the tent bag in his hand:
Guy: I bet I could just strap the tent on the back of the backpack here.
Me: You could, but that’s about a seven-pound tent, and it’s better to have it inside the pack, because the weight will be closer to your back, and you’ll have better balance. If it’s strapped to the back of the backpack, it pulls the pack away from you. Plus, it can fall off.
Guy: But I could just strap it right here, on the back, right?
Me: Yes, you could, but I’ll tell you what I’d do. You’re going with a friend, right?
Guy: Yeah.
Me: Take the tent out of the bag and split it up. Give your buddy the rainfly and the poles, and you take the tent body and the stakes. Pack all the solid stuff in your pack, and cram the tent body in last, into all the empty space that’s left. Then you have a solidly packed pack, and you can leave that tent bag at home. And you and your buddy are splitting the weight of the tent pretty evenly.
Guy: Yeah, but I could just strap it right here, too, on the back of the pack.
Me: Yeah, you could do that. You could strap it right there, on the back of the pack.
Photo: Lukas Allspach/Unsplash
There seems to be this male instinct that the more things we have on the outside of our pack, the cooler we look. Where does this come from? Is there some movie all males watched as young men that taught us this? We clip coffee mugs, water bottles, multi-tools, anything we can think of, to the outside of our pack, as if that object is so important, we can’t waste 2 seconds opening our pack to get to it. It seems to be a sort of outdoors newbie thing, and then you learn that the more shit you have strapped to the outside of your pack, the more you lose. You learn, then you move on.
Except in the case of one guy my buddy Lee climbed with once. Lee was part of this group of four guys who climbed the North Face route on Longs Peak, a 5.4 rock route in the summer. They had backpacked into the Boulderfield, spent the night, and climbed the route the next day. After they summited and picked up their bivy gear at the Boulderfield, they were re-packing their packs for the 3.5-mile hike down to the Longs Peak Trailhead. Lee was carrying one of the ropes down, and this guy, who shall not be named, sternly said to Lee,
“You make sure that rope is on the outside of your pack when we get to the parking lot.”
What does this mean? It means the guy wanted everyone at the trailhead, and in the parking lot, to know that he and his pals had just done an, ooh-aah, technical climbing route on Longs Peak – not like all the other suckers who had just hiked up and done the 3rd-class Keyhole Route. No, this group of men was special. They had used ropes. Like the one that was going to be on the outside of Lee’s pack when they strolled off the trail, so they could impress everyone in the parking lot.
Since the day Lee told me this story, we have never failed to include it in every single one of our days out climbing. Just as we are packing up after a climb or a day at the crag, one of us will either clip a No. 3 or No. 4 Camalot to the outside of our pack, or demand that the other guy make sure the rope is on the outside of his pack when we get to the parking lot. Then we both laugh, crack a couple more jokes about making young women swoon in the presence of all our climbing gear, and we leave.
You need something to read? We have something to read!
Adventure Journal’s print stories are only available in print. They are deeper, longer, and more nuanced than what you find online. Find out why 99% of subscribers renew every single year.
Order a subscription and current issue you today and most U.S. address will have their copy in three days. West Coast addresses it’s 1-2 days.
Is that a piton or are you just happy to see me?! Too funny.
Sometimes I see people with so much stuff on the outside of their backpack, that I can’t actually figure out what could possibly remain to be put inside.
The ego is a heavy piece of gear – whether it’s neatly stuffed inside or strapped, cock-eyed and heavy, on the outside.
“ The ego is a heavy piece of gear ”
That’s a profound insight; thank you.
I find that the residual habitual ego required in city survival also functions as blinders in wild areas.
If I set aside my schedule and to do/see lists when adventuring, I experience so much more discovery, wildlife and immersion.
Me: I’m going up to Rainier tomorrow
Pal: what are you going to do?
Me: we’ll SEE…
This is really a funny article! It’s so true some people strap all kinds of junk to their pack. the upside is all the clanking and jingling probably scares away any bear that might be walking upwind of you
Obviously these folks are not familiar with the fun activity known as pushwacking. Alders and blackberry will strip that pack nice and clean.
Ah, Long’s Peak. In the late 80’s, myself and two buds drove from MA to climb it. Two of us made it to the Narrows and chickened out there after sitting down for 10 minutes with our legs hanging over the ledge. I don’t know if we had anything hanging off our packs on the way down.
Anyways, I just saw the ultimate poseur at Zion that may beat out rope man. Climbing down from Angel’s Landing, we saw a guy going up wearing his race bib from the Toughest Mudder. Not a t-shirt – a race bib, with his name and race number. Really?
Ha! Had a similar experience recently while riding my local trails. I crossed paths with another rider who still had his number plate from a recent race affixed to his bars. If he was like 8 maybe I’d understand, but this was a grown-ass man, in the middle of the week, on trails that haven’t been raced on since the 90s.
Maybe he doesn’t own a knife, scissors or wire-cutters.
Close cousins to the “overland” crew that must bolt every concievable accessory to the outside of their truck, then commute to work with it all in place.
I used to work in the boundary waters wilderness area over 20 years ago. I am finally down to my last free Nalgene bottle (out of like 10) found on a portage. All of them had/have the little strap for the lid broken. I also found a few fishing poles, a tackle box, a canoe paddle (maybe they brought an extra?), a few life vests, and plenty of trash.
So I would say that the folks strapping stuff to their packs worked out alright for me.
This was very amusing and timely, as I had commented on this to a camp buddy on our recent outing. Our bags were leaned up against a rock at camp. My bag fully contained, their bag with sleeping pad, tent, sandals, mug and nalgene all strapped in some way to the outside. It looked like we were on entirely different trips, as if I were about to check my bag at an airport.
Good stuff. To each their own.
Always thought those folx looked like the historical peddlers of olden times.
Considering it’s a sport of motion, streamlining seems obvious… Whales spend vast energy getting the barnacles OFF their profile.
There is a guy out here in BC, a BEAST of a ski/bike tourer since the mid 80s, and a friend of mine used to go on expeditions with him all the time. “He has shit hanging off of his pack, it’s like the Astrolab or some kind of satellite…” In the early 90s, Steve C might recall this, Les Anthony did a story on an early adventure race on the pemberton icecap called the multiglisse traverse. It was a team event, so I called up Mister Astrolab and asked him if he wanted to join, which he did. I said to the team: ‘don’t take out your maps, just follow this guy’s skin track and we will win.’ Which, after three damned hard days in the Coast Range, we did.
Beverly Hillbillies.
On a thru hike last year we saw so many with so many items on the outside, all I could think of was they didn’t know what size pack they needed, plus you couldn’t even see the pack on the one person. That was the same trip we saw so much stuff/equipment on the trail.