There has been a flowering of accessories that make peeing outside even easier in recent years, so we wanted to re-share this piece with a little primer to the world of, uh, natural peeing devices, at the bottom. -Ed.
When I was 10, I learned how to pee outside. Not that it took all that much studying or anything, just that I’d never really done it before.
That changed when my mom, Frank, Ryan and I packed up Frank’s sandy brown station wagon and headed off for three weeks, escaping a Washington state snow storm to drive as far south down the Baja as we could before we ran out of time and had to turn around and hightail it home.
We camped the whole way down and the whole way back. Camping was heaven. Living under the sky. Cooking over the camp stove. Exploring new territory. Meeting new people. Listening to firelight ghost stories. And peeing outside.
I fell in love with it. I really did.
When we got home, it was still ski season. I remember dodging off to ski in the trees with my friend Julie, because it was fun, sure, but also because I knew I could pee there outside without anyone giving me grief. I converted Julie to a ski-day exterunirinarian as well.
Then later, in the spring when it was warm, on weekend mornings if I ever woke up before mom, I would go straight outside to enjoy my morning pee under the pale blue dawn in the backyard. I mean, come on. You cannot argue that peeing next to a giant girl-sized poppy or a sweet-smelling evergreen bush is not so much nicer than peeing on the toilet in a 1970s style bathroom – clean and rainbow-striped though it was.
That was my weekend routine until mom caught me one morning, out there with my flannel nightgown pulled up around my hips, crouching down in the corner by the fence. The verdict? “Extremely inappropriate, Marit Martha!” And I’m pretty sure I got grounded. I always got grounded.
It didn’t stop me cold though. Every once in a while, for a long time after, I’d still sneak out and enjoy the occasional sweet starlight or sunrise or rain storm pee.
Well, today I’m here to say, around 40, that some simple childhood pleasures never cease to delight. I loved peeing outside then and I love peeing outside now. Why do you think I trail run and mountain bike? To stay in shape? To get after it outside? To be a tough grrrl? To play with my friends?
Nah.
This stuff makes peeing outside much easier
Pee funnels aren’t for everyone, but for this who love them, they really love them. Check out the Pibella Travel funnel ($20), or the Pitch and Trek funnel ($13).
Chickfly makes pants with an anatomically correct zipperless fly so you can dispense with the funnel altogether.
Whatever your method, should you need a cleanup, the Kuta pee cloth ($20) is antimicrobial and dries quickly.
Photo: Michelle Spencer/Unsplash
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Its normal http://youtu.be/ZoAofWBZoBc
Ha as a man alI can say is this is a prerequisite for girls I date. My significant other (I guess is the modern term) went behind a bush and peed like nothing on our first date/hike (a class 3 scramble), this is how I knew she was a keeper.
Women like you are hard to find, not many can go for a 20 mile day hike or more on a whim and love it.
Keep on keepin on madame you are awesome.
Awesome story, Marit. I love it. Do you ever find yourself feeling frustrated when you’re in a more urban environment with no grove of trees or grassy dell to duck into?
The only time I feel frustrated is when I’m wearing pants. Then I can’t do the trick my former track coach, Maureen Custy Roben, taught me. When I’m in the city, I squat with one foot forward in the universal “I’m tying my shoe” pose. Then I pretend to do just that with one hand while I pull the crotch of my shorts or running skirt over with my other hand and pee discreetly. It works well on grass where all trace of your relief will soak to the roots; not so well on pavement (unless it’s raining or has just rained, if you get what I mean). I can’t believe I’m actually writing this comment right now, but I think that if it helps my sisters pee outside, it’s totally worth it.
This is exactly why trail running trumps road running. Who wants to use a nasty porta potty when you can squat in the breeze?
It is the well rounded lady that has such a skill. Keep up the adventures!
Here’s an ode to pooping…
http://www.bretthouston.com/yaktube/yaktube.html
Wow Marit, I’ve got the trail pee down to a science but that city squat is something I’m going to have to go in my backyard pee spot to practice.
Love it…
My girlfriend not only loves peeing outside, but she’s stubborn about it. We were at an outdoor party in Zurich with plenty of porta potties, and she insisted on peeing outside the porta potties, while shouting at people walking by “Stop looking at me!” They were trying not to look. It was hilarious. She will pee anywhere, anytime, like a guy.
I understand you completely. I was 6 years old when my parents took me camping for the first time. I had to per and poop. I told my mom and she took me over to the trees. Since I was six and my shirt was a little long, she had me take my shirt off. since, you know, imma girl, pee isn’t always the easiest to direct. So she had me take my shoes, socks, pants and undies off to avoid missing and peeing on them. So she showed me how to squat properly and had me pee then. Then I pooped (apparently it took me 20 minutes to finally get the poop out). She wiped since I didn’t know how to since I was standing. Then she went to put my clothes on but I was already running away. I went the rest of the camping trip naked, and rode home naked. Every other time we went camping, I would always go to the same spot and poop and pee and stay naked. There is something about being naked in the wilderness. (That and I was the only child, so I got all the attention). I went pee outside at my house every time I needed to until puberty. My parents got most of it all on film, so there is like 100 videos of me naked, peeing and pooping naked.
You had a charmed childhood! I would love to meet your patient Mom!
There IS something special about being totally unencumbered in wild areas. I can’t do much of it due to mosquitoes though…
In Russia all little girls from 2 to 11 YO and nobody say it’s terrible.
Peeing outside is amazing. I would always do it infront of people, don’t ask me why. Every time we were on a hike in the woods, and people were coming, I would drop my pants, bare all, and pee, while they got embarrassed. I never pee inside. Now my son pees outside, and he always uses the front yard, not the back, while facing the road. One time some girls were coming and hd did it right by them. it was funny. I love it.
So what were the reactions of your son & of those girls who saw him in his awkwardness. Poor lad, he must have felt ashamed, and if those girls were his friends, then that would be very disgusting, rather being than funny!
I highly recommend the PStyle! I love it so much – always have it for camping, hiking, and especially climbing. I stash an extra one in my car.
Thank you!
Great article and the video for the chickfly kickstarter is utterly hilarious! I hope everyone goes back and clicks on that link. I was just howling when a woman ‘shakes it’ after peeing off a cliff. I hope those pants will be affordable bc my road trips include more pulling over every year, and not having to ‘turn the other cheek’ would be great!
Thanks, Marit: for an entertaining public service!
I sent this to SO many friends!
While we’re on the subject… In areas with mountain goats Rangers are adamant about peeing away from trails. The goats are attracted to the salt and there was a fatal encounter in Olympic National Park, where the introduced species are being removed.
There’s a great little book called “How To Shit In The Woods” that’s actually someone’s graduate thesis… Our chapter: how not to pee on your boots.
I have been peeing outside since I was about 4 yo which would make it 1954. Have always loved peeing outside. Since 2010 I have been using a pStyle…. my FAVORITE piece of gear. Absolutely love it, used it on the PCT and use it on every hike and even walking in the neighborhood. I have a pStyle in both vehicles, on all my packs and an extra in case of loss. I find it: 1. enables me to look at the color of urine to see if I need more water 2. keeps my bum not only away from human eyes, but also from ticks and mosquitoes. 3. I can pee fast–get ready, step aside and never have to take my pack off so I can keep up with hiking partners. 4. I can pee most anywhere and have written my name in the snow:) and have peed off a bridge 🙂 FUN.
Growing up, my family was outdoors lots: camping, hunting, picnics…
Summers between 2000 and 2008, I’d fly to the city where she lived. She’d pick me up at the airport and I’d drive us to my sister’s place, 6 hours away. The route was all mountains and big lakes, beautiful.
Once, en route, she needed to stop for a pee. We pulled off on a small side-road. She squatted, peed, and then had to pull herself up using the passenger side mirror. She was 86. Ya do what ya gotta. She passed away a few years ago.
The only issue, mosquitos.