There has been a flowering of accessories that make peeing outside even easier in recent years, so we wanted to re-share this piece with a little primer to the world of, uh, natural peeing devices, at the bottom. -Ed.
When I was 10, I learned how to pee outside. Not that it took all that much studying or anything, just that I’d never really done it before.
That changed when my mom, Frank, Ryan and I packed up Frank’s sandy brown station wagon and headed off for three weeks, escaping a Washington state snow storm to drive as far south down the Baja as we could before we ran out of time and had to turn around and hightail it home.
We camped the whole way down and the whole way back. Camping was heaven. Living under the sky. Cooking over the camp stove. Exploring new territory. Meeting new people. Listening to firelight ghost stories. And peeing outside.
I fell in love with it. I really did.
When we got home, it was still ski season. I remember dodging off to ski in the trees with my friend Julie, because it was fun, sure, but also because I knew I could pee there outside without anyone giving me grief. I converted Julie to a ski-day exterunirinarian as well.
Then later, in the spring when it was warm, on weekend mornings if I ever woke up before mom, I would go straight outside to enjoy my morning pee under the pale blue dawn in the backyard. I mean, come on. You cannot argue that peeing next to a giant girl-sized poppy or a sweet-smelling evergreen bush is not so much nicer than peeing on the toilet in a 1970s style bathroom – clean and rainbow-striped though it was.
That was my weekend routine until mom caught me one morning, out there with my flannel nightgown pulled up around my hips, crouching down in the corner by the fence. The verdict? “Extremely inappropriate, Marit Martha!” And I’m pretty sure I got grounded. I always got grounded.
It didn’t stop me cold though. Every once in a while, for a long time after, I’d still sneak out and enjoy the occasional sweet starlight or sunrise or rain storm pee.
Well, today I’m here to say, around 40, that some simple childhood pleasures never cease to delight. I loved peeing outside then and I love peeing outside now. Why do you think I trail run and mountain bike? To stay in shape? To get after it outside? To be a tough grrrl? To play with my friends?
This stuff makes peeing outside much easier
Chickfly makes pants with an anatomically correct zipperless fly so you can dispense with the funnel altogether.
Whatever your method, should you need a cleanup, the Kuta pee cloth ($20) is antimicrobial and dries quickly.
Photo: Michelle Spencer/Unsplash