Have you ever been stumped when you’re out for a hike and a friend asks, “Hey, what kind of plant/bird/tree is that?” Of course you have. And you answer, “I think that’s a type of cactus,” or “Is that a bluejay?” or “I believe that’s…some sort of evergreen tree.” Unless you are an obsessed birdwatcher, or field biologist, or interpretive hiking guide, you will probably never acquire a level of knowledge to confidently announce the species of every single piece of flora or fauna you encounter.
But you can be full of B.S. Which is sometimes just as fun, if not more so than actually having knowledge.
A while back, my friend Mitsu Iwasaki, for many years a fearless wilderness guide, told me the classification system he used for years during outdoor education outings when students asked him, “What kind of bird is that?” According to Mitsu, there are only three types of birds – a concept he first learned this from his friend Mark Miller when they worked at Outward Bound together.
You might note that this number, three, is a lot easier to memorize than the total number of bird species on earth, which is somewhere around 10,000.
All birds fall into one of these three categories. The three types are:
1. Tweety Birds
These are little birds that tweet. Examples include sparrows, finches, robins.
Classic tweeter. Photo: Ruyan Ayten
2. Ducky Birds
These are birds that float in water. Examples include ducks, swans, sea gulls, and albatrosses.
Your classic duck-type bird behavior. Photo: Harry Grout
3. Hawk-like Birds
The birds of this category are, well, hawk-like in nature. Examples include eagles, vultures, and even chickens.
Super hawk-like behavior right here. Photo: Martin Adams
Confused by a certain bird and what type it is? Don’t be. Go with your gut, Mitsu says.
“Then there are other birds that don’t easily fit,” Mitsu says. “Say, ostriches. It’s important to just make it fit. Maybe it’s hawk-like because of its ferociousness or duck-like because of its shape. Doesn’t really matter, makes for great debate.”
And as always when you’re BS-ing, the more confidently you say it, the better.
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For more funny stuff from longtime friend of AJ, Brendan Leonard, check out some of his books:
I Hate Running and You Can Too
The Art of Getting Lost
Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems
There was a time, in living memory for some of us, that to be an outdoorsman/person of any stripe meant you were also something of a naturalist. Connecticut Audubon recently posted about a Sports Illustrated cover from 1955 that featured birdwatching: http://ctaudubon.blogspot.com/2012/03/sports-illustrated-bird-what.html
Would that everyone who loved playing in the outdoors today also pursued a deeper appreciation for the incredibly marvelous living things around us–which might also lead to a better understanding of just how imperiled it all is.
I am the Queen of making-up-stuff-when-I-don’t-know-the-answer. At least I generally tell people beforehand that go on a hike/climb/ski/paddle with me. I give them fair warning. But they ask me questions anyways. Or perhaps they are just putting the question out there into the cosmos. “What kind of fish is that?” Might actually be read as, “I wonder what kind of fish that is.” Maybe I’m just interpreting their cosmic pondering as a request for an answer. Any answer. Those that know me well often get this answer, “I’m not sure. Would you like me to make something up?” Very often the answer is, “Yes, please.” Followed by, “Actually I think you’re right. That is some kind of a salmon.”
…or you could exercise some humility and admit that you have no idea… and then teach yourself something new.
that was really helpful thank u.
River guide and dory builder extraordinaire Brad Dimock of Flagstaff also classifies birds into 3 categories:
1. Tweety birds
2. Eaty birds … e.g. edible
3. Buzzards
Leaving out “Eaty birds” was a crucial categorical failure on Brendan’s part.
I am here for the continuation of this conversation.
I wonder where wood pecker types would fall.
When I was a park ranger with the US National Park Service I was an environmental interpreter, the rangers who do guided walks, env education, etc. We did, in fact, have a category of birds called “LBJs.” Little brown jobbers. Those are the really difficult to ID fast-moving sparrows for the most part. Though I knew most of the avifauna and flora (’cause that was my job) we also had a flower called a DYF. Damn yellow flower. It was any of a dozen difficult to ID little yellow flowers.
I like “craven” to cover crows and ravens.