DENVER – The Colorado State Senate voted 24-11 on Friday to pass a resolution to make the visor the official state hat.
“There was plenty of resistance in 2007 when we made ‘Rocky Mountain High’ our second official state song, as some of you may remember,” State Senate President Pro Tempore Lucia Guzman told reporters at the state capitol on Friday afternoon. “Naming a state hat was far less controversial, and in this era of political strife we thought a bipartisan effort was important.” Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino and Rep. Jonathan Singer, D-Longmont, awkwardly executed a super-slo-mo exploding fist bump behind Guzman, then carefully straighten their suits afterward.
The move was not without its critics. Several hours of debate went on in both the House, which passed the resolution on Monday, as well as in the Senate. The visor, dissenting members said, is not appropriate to represent a state referred to by some as “Colo-rad-bro.”
“What about the helmet?” Sen. Steve King, R-Grand Junction, said on Monday. “What about the trucker hat? What about the retro ski beanie? You’re making broad assumptions here. Hell, everybody knows only runners, paddlers, triathletes, and raft guides wear visors anymore.”
Sen. Evie Hudak, D-Westminster, argued that naming the visor the state hat is a “slippery slope,” and that the move would set a dangerous precedent. “Doing this is a waste of our taxpayers’ time and money,” she said. “Are we now going to name the roof rack the official car accessory of Colorado? Or the carabiner the official fastener? Give me a break.”
Other members of the Senate were elated. Rep. Pete Lee, D-Colorado Springs, who introduced the resolution in the House, wore a weathered orange Kavu visor with his grey suit and navy blue tie to Friday’s press conference.
“I honestly don’t understand why anyone would oppose this resolution,” Lee said Friday, holding his visor in his hand. “We’re closer to the sun in Colorado. We have 300-plus days of sunshine on the Front Range. Everybody knows visors keep harmful UV rays off your face, but still keep you cool with the open top. Check it out, man.”
The Adventurey Report is almost certainly not true.