adventure journal clif bar announces gluten free packaging

Clif Bar, the California company known for its energy foods, philanthropy, and in particular its Pecan Pie flavored bars, announced that effective today all Clif Bar packaging, from Clif Shots to Luna bars, is gluten free.

“More than two million people in the United States suffer from the effects of celiac disease,” said Clif in a press release. “That’s 1 in 133. And since many of those folks are Clif customers, we felt it not just right, but a moral responsibility to remove gluten from every part of their Clif experience.”

The new packaging took three years and several million dollars to develop, said Clif. Gluten atoms have a particular affinity to recycled paper that comes from shredded copies of Mother Jones and the Utne Reader, which is the primary source of pulp in Clif’s packaging. When rinsed with Tazo’s Organic Green Tea, however, they release their bonds readily – a fortuitous discovery learned when a paper worker accidentally spilled his bottle in vat of pulp. Clif is now the largest consumer of Tazo tea in the country and is rumored to be considering purchasing the company.


Clif didn’t stop with packaging, though. It has vowed to become an entirely gluten-free company by 2017.

“It’s an aggressive goal, I admit,” said Kevin Cleary, president and CEO, “but when future generations look back at our time they’ll realize this was the dawning of enlightenment to the heavy cost society bears from gluten, and Clif Bar is determined to lead, not follow.”

Each Clif Bar wrapper also contains 1,420 percent of the recommended daily allowance for fiber and 780 percent of the RDA for soy ink.

The Adventurey Report is almost certainly not true.

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