Nothing I can possibly write would be better than what “Transmorphers” director Scott Wheeler and “Malibu Shark Attack” writer Keith Shaw say about their new movie, Avalanche Sharks.
After a horrific avalanche, the staff at Twin Pines Ski Resort starts to receive reports of missing people and creatures that move beneath the snow. As the body count piles up, the management tries to cover up the situation, which leads to disaster on their busiest day of the year: Bikini Snow Day.
Spring break in the mountains: snowboarding, beer, drunken co-eds in bikinis. As the yearly Bikini Ski Day party descends on a small mountain town, something lurks beneath the snow. When an unwitting rider causes an avalanche, it awakens a huge, menacing, pre-historic Snow Shark! With a newfound taste for human flesh, the Snow Shark picks off the snow bunnies mercilessly. Cut off from help by mountainous terrain and blinding snow, the local sheriff must make an unlikely alliance with a motley crew of snowboarders to take down the Snow Shark before the white hills run red with blood!
Not since Frozen have I been so excited about a snow movie. The only way it could be better is it was starring the platinum blonde daughter of Hulk Hogan as the improbable Dr. Sandy Powers, scientist. Oh wait, it is.