In the same way Batman needs access to his tools and gadgets, you need immediate access to your Implements of Wilderness Enjoyment and Domination. Thankfully, almost everything you can think of to attach to your belt is available at your local REI store (or online) — we checked. Here’s a list of items that covers everything besides food and clothing. NOTE: Depending on your waist size, all of the included items may not fit on your belt at once. Lard up for maximum dangling capacity.
1. Counter Assault Bear Spray Holster
Keep your bear spray at the ready — a single flip of velcro and you can bust that stuff out faster than Quick Draw McGraw.
2. Coghlan’s Deluxe Chow Kit
If you’re the type of backpacker to lose track of your stainless steel fork, knife, and spoon, the plastic packaging on Coghlan’s Deluxe Chow Kit is perforated with belt loops.
3. U-Dig-it Stainless Steel Hand Shovel
Because sometimes, that poop isn’t going to wait. Have your cathole-digging trowel at the ready.
4. CRKT A.G. Russell Sting Knife
Comes with a Cordura sheath, with belt loop. Illegal to carry concealed in California, so you have to carry it on your belt.
5. Gerber Gator Machete
When a simple knife won’t do the job.
6. Gerber Gator Combo Axe II
When a simple knife or a simple machete won’t do. Comes with ballistic nylon sheath with belt loop.
7. Ultimate Survival Technologies SaberCut Saw
When you want to cut something down using something other than your knife, machete, or axe. Comes with ballistic nylon sheath with belt loop.
8. Motorola Talkabout MS350R 2-Way Radios
It’s a two-pack. You’ll need a friend who also has a belt.
9. REI W6 10 x 26 Waterproof Binoculars
Think nature is just going to walk right up and introduce itself? Comes with nylon carrying case with belt loop.
10. Leatherman New Wave Multitool
Three blades, 14 other tools, one handy tool with a nylon carrying case to attach to your belt.
11. Petzl Zipka Poche
A small pouch to hold your Petzl Zipka 2 headlamp when you’re not using it.
12. Maglite Mini Maglite Pro 2 AA LED Flashlight
Comes with a carrying case that attaches to your belt, for daylight hours.
13. Camelbak Insulated Water Bottle Sleeve
Holds your water bottle at your hip, freeing up your hands.
14. Mountainsmith Cyber II Camera Case
Du-uh. For your camera.
15. Garmin GPSMAP 62 Series Carrying Case
GPS units don’t come standard with belt clips — remedy that with this case.
16. SunCloud Sunglass Case
Flipping your shades on top of your head is for poseurs — get a case you can attach to your belt.
17. Timbuk2 Pinch Phone Wallet
Why keep your phone in your pocket on vibrate when you can have a ringtone and keep it on your belt?
18. Ollydog Mt. Tam Hands-Free Dog Leash
If you’ve got a machete in one hand and your phone in the other, you don’t really have a free hand to hold Fido’s leash, do you?
19. Omron HJ-150 Hip Pedometer
Kind of like a GPS, a pedometer is an instrument that tells you how far you’ve walked, at least theoretically.
Total cost of Ultimate Toolbelt of Wilderness Enjoyment and Domination: $613.90