PETA WANTS ROADSIDE MEMORIAL TO DEAD FISH

Hang on a sec, I’m trying to keep a straight face. Oh heck, it’s impossible. A representative of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked the city of Irvine, California, to erect a memorial along the side of the road where hundreds of bass (the fish, not the instrument) were killed in a tractor trailer accident on October 11. Dina Kourda wrote, “Although such signs are traditionally reserved for human fatalities, I hope you’ll make an exception because of the enormous suffering involved in this case.” The sign would read, “In memory of hundreds of fish who suffered and died at this spot.” Kourda lamentably mistook the bass for sole, or perhaps a fish is a fish to her. Some 1,600 pounds of them died in the accident, which occurred when they were on the way to Irvine Ranch Market…to be sold and eaten. Dina, there already is a memorial sign. It says “$5.99 a pound.” Via OC Register.

SEARCH FOR LOST HIKER ENTERS SECOND WEEK

Searchers in Kings Canyon National Park, California, have turned up no sign of missing hiker Larry Conn, 53, who’s been out of touch since October 19. The Pacific Palisades man was on a solo backpacking trip and planned to return on October 22. Park officials thought his route would take him over Taboose Pass towards the John Muir Trail in Kings Canyon at elevations between 10,000 and 12,000 feet, which received up to 18 inches over snow over the last week. Despite 45 searchers, helicopters, and dogs, SAR hasn’t found so much as a track. Via National Parks Traveler. One other missing hiker caught in the storm turned up safe on Monday after a California Highway Patrol found footprints in the snow. Via Press Democrat.

MALIBU LAGOON FINALLY GETTING CLEANED

Malibu, despite its place in the firmament of surfing, has some of the skankiest water this side of a Superfund site. In the 1990s, four surfers died of water-borne diseases and a fifth nearly succumbed from a viral infection. You would think that residents would agree the nasty Malibu lagoon needed to be cleaned, but no. In fact, a surprising coalition opposed it. Surfers said it would wreck the waves. Real estate agents said it would drive down rental rates (clean water lowering value? huh?). In the end, though, after years of legal wrangling and unbelievably nasty in-fighting (including a death threat and a suicide), the lagoon is now finally being dredged and restored to health. The work will be finished this week. Smithsonian takes an in-depth look at one of the famous breaks and the battle to bring it back — check it out. Via Smithsonian.

SENATORS WANT NATIONAL MONUMENTS FOR NEW MEXICO

New Mexico’s senators are asking President Obama to consider designating two special areas in New Mexico — already managed by the BLM — for national monument status. The request would make the Rio Grande Gorge and adjacent Taos Plateau, and the Organ Mountains, national monuments. Both areas are already popular for hiking, and the Rio Grande Gorge is known for excellent Class II-V rapids and rock climbers also use the area. There’s some irony to the bill: The senators, both Democrats, are sponsoring the legislation, but an initial push for preservation came under President George H.W. Bush. Such designations fly in the face of sagebrush rebellion advocates, who want fewer protections and state control over federal land. Via Las Cruces Sun.