The Five Best Things About Returning to Civilization CELEBRITY EDITION!

by steve casimiro on April 24, 2008 · 0 comments

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Nothing says home like a plate of steaming haggis.

It only takes a couple weeks in the backcountry to make you–well, me–miss steamed milk, unmelted chocolate, and pillows. But what about hard-core adventurers? Maybe they’re so core, they don’t miss a thing. Maybe they make us look like the big, fat wussies we really are … or do they?

Read on and see what these seasoned vets miss when they’re out there.

Featuring: Adventurers Julie and Colin Angus; ice climber Will Gadd; climber Mike Libecki; surfer Kassia Meador; long-distance hiker Andrew Skurka

Circumnavigated the globe under human power; currently rowing and cycling from Scotland to Syria (and National Geographic ADVENTURE 2006 Adventurers of the Year)

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5 HOT SHOWER After living in the same outfit for more than a week and being covered with a layer of grim that you mistook for a suntan until it washed down the drain, a little hot water and soap work miracles.

4 FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST Oatmeal and cowboy coffee are great, but bacon, eggs, toast, baked beans, sausages, and real coffee are better.

3 READING THE NEWSPAPER Because it’s nice to find out what happened in the world while we were away.

2 A ROOF Because sometimes it’s nice to get out of the rain/snow/hail/wind.

1 A GLEAMING PORCELAIN TOILET WITH AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF TOILET PAPER AND TOTAL PRIVACY Because, well, you know.

  • Will Gadd, a world champion paraglider who flew across the Grand Canyon; one of the world’s most accomplished, visionary ice climbers (watch a video of Gadd climbing Sweden’s ice caves)

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5 SEX I’m probably the only one willing to own up to it, but post-trip sex is one of the best things in life.

4 WATER OUT OF A TAP No filtering, no melting snow, you just turn on a tap and out comes water. Incredible invention!

3 OTHER PEOPLE Strange how someone you normally wouldn’t tolerate for more than 30 seconds can be extremely interesting after a few weeks off the beaten path.

2 PIZZA I crave it on long trips–tomato sauce, pepperoni, cheese, cheese, and hot cheese! Cold beer, too, of course.

1 HEAT When I get back from any multi-day winter trip, I always feel a moment when the car heater comes on that I realize I don’t have to try to be warm anymore–there’s an external heat source.

  • Mike Libecki, big-wall climber renowned for huge solo accomplishments, including 40 days spent putting up the first ascent of the 4,200-foot Viking Shield in Greenland

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5 PAINTING, DRAWING, FLYING KITES, GARDENING, CAMPING, BAKING COOKIES with my daughter

4 PLAYING PIANO AND VIOLIN with my daughter

3 SWIMMING, GYMNASTICS, AND SOCCER with my daughter

2 DANCING AND LAUGHING with my daughter

1 BEING with my daughter

  • Kassia Meador, longboard surfing champion and nine-year veteran of the nomadic pro surfing tour

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5 COOKING IN MY OWN KITCHEN Camping food is fine and dandy, but nothing beats a home-cooked meal.

4 MY OWN BED

3 LYING ON MY COUCH When you’re on the road, there’s no time for vegging out–it makes you appreciate being lazy.

2 A CLEAN TOILET WITH ACTUAL TOILET PAPER I love camping and trekking around for waves, but being a girl makes it just a bit more inconvenient when it comes to certain activities.

1 AN EXTRA-LONG HOT SHOWER Nothing beats it after you’ve been salty, dusty, and cold camping in Mexico.

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5 BARS Great places to find it all: beer, women, dancing, and mechanical bulls.

4 BEING LAZY With 6,875 or 7,800 or 2,170 or 480 miles ahead waiting to be hiked, laziness really is not an option until I’m done.

3 INTELLECTUAL STIMULUS Within a few weeks, I’ve walked off any pent-up stress or personal issues and I find myself wanting nytimes.com, non-fiction books, NPR Environment podcasts, and talkative people.

2 MEALS THAT REQUIRE THOUGHT Balance Bars and rehydrated beans and rice offer lots of calories with minimum prep, but they don’t please the way that a plate of real food does.

1 WOMEN The need to find water, eat enough food, and stay on course while hiking overshadows another basic need (or is it just a want?) that gains much more attention once I step off the trail.

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